How to Tell If Your Crush Is Serious? Three Behavioral Clues from Relationship Psychology

In the early stages of romantic development, many people find themselves caught in a sweet yet agonizing state—ambiguity. At its core, this phase is defined by unclear boundaries: you’re neither officially a couple nor merely friends. So how can you discern whether your crush genuinely wants to build a lasting intimate relationship or is simply enjoying a fleeting emotional game?

Willingness to invest time in you is the most fundamental sign of sincerity

Animal behavior expert Jennifer Verdolin notes that many animals test compatibility through consistent “dating” behaviors when seeking lifelong partners. For instance, the white-fronted goose (Branta leucopsis), once it identifies a potential mate, stays inseparable—feeding together, cuddling, and even attending each other’s social gatherings. This high level of investment offers valuable insight into human relationships as well.

If someone truly intends to develop a long-term bond with you, they won’t only reach out when it’s convenient or keep you isolated from their social circle. Instead, they’ll proactively create opportunities for one-on-one time, invite you regularly, and happily introduce you to friends or family. If they consistently exclude you from their world—even while saying sweet things—they may just be playing a temporary role in your emotional story.

Consistent and meaningful communication reflects genuine emotional investment

The great horned owl (Bubo virginianus) in North America engages in nightly vocal exchanges with its mate—calling back and forth throughout the night once a pair bond forms. This mirrors what we call “effective communication” in human relationships: not sporadic emoji replies, but real willingness to listen, respond, and sustain conversation.

When you feel your heart race upon receiving their message—and they consistently reply promptly, initiate new topics, or stay up late chatting with you—it signals emotional openness and commitment. Conversely, if contact is erratic and unpredictable, they likely don’t see you as part of their future.

Physical touch in public is a silent declaration of affection

Field voles (Microtus arvalis), once paired, frequently engage in body rubbing and cuddling—behaviors that strengthen their bond. Humans are no different: true affection is hard to conceal.

In public spaces, does he naturally hold your hand, gently brush your arm, or instinctively lean closer among crowds? These subtle physical cues are authentic expressions of inner feelings. Research shows such contact triggers the brain to release oxytocin and dopamine—the so-called “love hormones”—which deepen attachment and reveal whether someone is comfortable showing your relationship to the world.

A study from Emory University further confirms that those willing to spend time together are also more likely to express intimacy through touch. These two behaviors reinforce each other, forming key indicators of serious intent.

Ambiguity may feel romantic, but it shouldn’t become an endless drain on your emotional energy. Learning to recognize sincerity through actions allows you to avoid wasting precious time on the wrong person. When you understand these three clues, you gain the confidence to choose relationships worthy of your heart—and move toward truly mutual, fulfilling intimacy. 🌹